How does a baby poop so much?

Can we talk about the things I didn't expect in the early days of new motherhood? I started to compile a list in my phone of Tim and I's WTF moments and want to share them all with you, so you aren't blindsided about all the things no one told you... or at least didn't tell me!

1. The amount of poop.. explosive poops is quite impressive for a 10lb baby. Like where does it all come from?! Liquid diets. If you hear a loud, rumbling fart, just beware.

2. The amount of times we've changed her wet diaper, only for her to pee multiple times before we can get a new one on.

3. The amount of laundry a peanut-sized human can dirty in a few days. Between the poo, the pee, the spit up and normal wardrobe changes, she has surpassed us in the amount of dirty clothes. I thought folding my own laundry was hard, have you ever tried folding a mini sock?

4. The scream-crying. Death screams. Oofta. Obviously I knew that babies cried, but every once in a while she'll let out these ratchet screams that sound like a dinosaur is being tortured. It takes some practice to try to stay calm in the midst of those crying spells.

5. How much noise a baby makes while sleeping. I thought when babies slept, they were quiet and peaceful, like we see in the media. Nope. Cooing, fussing, some kicks, the startle reflex, the random scream/cry... it can be quiet distracting when you are trying to sleep. Apparently it's pretty normal, I always want to jump the gun and pick her up, but you actually wake the baby up doing this so give it a few minutes until you know the baby is actually up and needing something. Two words for you. Ear. Plugs.

6. Baby acne.... my little pizza face. I had heard of baby acne before, I just kind of forgot about it until it appeared one day. Slather that bod with breast milk, it helps a lot.

7. How bad your posture gets with holding, carrying and feeding a baby, I was spending so much time curled over, shoulders hunched over, traps to my ears that I had some raging pain in my upper right arm from it. Out of all the injuries, and brutal workouts, nothing compares to the strain your body can be under holding and feeding a baby all day.

8. Postpartum BO and night sweats. Two things related to the dramatic hormonal shift you experience after baby is born. It's not all the time, but I've had a few night where I've woke up drenched and a few days where my arm pits could kill. No amount of deodorant does the trick.

9. Washing bottles and pump parts- We use a bottle for when Tim is on his night shift, or if I happen to be gone for a couple hours during the day, but we really try to do most feedings on the breast. Even so, the amount of time you spend washing parts to bottles and the pump is wild! One minute your sink is empty.. the next it looks like a box of legos. I pump 3-4 times a day to encourage my supply so I can stock up on milk to freeze for when she goes to daycare, and just to keep my supply up. Thankfully Murray doesn't give a damn if its a bottle or a boob... she'll eat. There are mixed opinions about using a bottle if you are trying to breastfeed but do what works for you.

10. Where did my butt go? I know this sounds super weird and a little vain, but I am blown away but how much your body composition changes in 2 weeks after baby. I felt really strong, and filled out while pregnant and then all of a sudden my butt disappeared and is more flat. Knowing what I know about muscle, it's almost impossible to lose that much muscle in such a short period of time. I googled it and apparently it's a thing. So crazy!

11. Make sure they are done going to the bathroom before changing. I can't tell you how many times we've been in the middle of a diaper change and off she goes peeing or pooping again. One day she had a blow out, we got the diaper off and her cleaned up and Tim picked her up so I could move the dirty clothes out from under her, she proceeded to pee in the air... everywhere... twice! There was no where to set her down since she peed over everything, including the changing table so Tim is just holding her in the air while we both pee our pants laughing.

12. How much I cry. I feel like my mood was pretty even during pregnancy, I think pregnant woman get a bad rap sometimes... about how moody and irritable they become. While everyone is different, and I had my moments. I did not feel like a crazy hormonal pregnant person. Postpartum though? completely different story. The amount of times I cry in a week is astounding. Not just sad crying... I cry over anything. I cry that my dog feels left out, I cry that my baby is getting big so fast, I cry that I over cooked my egg, I cry when I laugh too hard. It's quite comical.

13. Greasy ass hair. I've heard many women talk about PP hair loss.... but greasy hair!?! Whaaaat!? I woke up one morning and the top layer of my hair had a crunchy film all over it, I thought maybe I got some massage oil in my hair so I took a shower... nope still there. Three showers later... still there. So I went to Mr. Google to see wtf was going on. I came across a few personal blogs where woman reported having the same issue postpartum. The fix? Mix baking soda in with your shampoo and skip the conditioner, or only put the conditioner on the ends of your hair. MAGIC! Grease Slide was gone after a few washes with this new concoction.

Out of all the shit people recommend you get, or that you "need" for newborns, we find ourselves using the same stuff on repeat. We errored on the minimal side when it came to the baby registry because we don't like a lot of stuff and there is a gadget for literally everything newborn related these days. Here are a few of our Most-Used items thus far.

1. The boppy- I am sure you could just use a pillow to prop yourself into a comfortable position for feeding but the boppy does make it easier to get in a better position. Bonus that Murray enjoys sitting and sleeping on it too.

2. Breast Pump and hand pump- buy extra supplies or you'll live your life at the kitchen sink washing parts. This is the hand pump I use and it works awesome, I tried a couple before this and they were crap.

3. Zipper Onesies are life. Trying to button up a head to toe baby while they are crying is quite difficult. Buy clothes with zippers and quick on and offs. You're welcome.

4. Baby Bjorn- we tried a few carriers and some of them were more complicated than a Rubix Cube, no thanks. Baby Bjorn mini has been the easiest so far, easy to put on and easy to transition between Tim or I wearing it. She fits perfectly and can fit in it up to 25lbs before we have to find a new one.

5. Sleep sac from the hospital has been our favorite ( her favorite actually) so far. She sleeps well when she is tightly bundled. We only use it at night and during the day she spends time getting to know all her movements.

6. Don't throw away the makeshift tube top that the hospital makes you for pumping! It's been a life saver. Having to sit and hold the pumps the entire time you are pumping is annoying.

7. Nursing gowns/tanks/bras. Many of my shirts, bras and dresses can be pulled down easy enough to nurse, but it's still not as convenient as clothing that clips down to feed. It kind of sucks wasting money on them since you won't wear them forever, but convenience wins in this case. I've bought a couple nursing night gowns from Target which are lifesavers at night, fast boobs! I also bought a couple nursing bras from Kindred Bravery and a couple additional nursing tanks from Target too. So worth the money, I wear these items almost every day. I will link what I have below.

Kindred Bravely- Nursing Bra

Target- Night Gown

8. Blu Blockers. You spend a lot of time up in the middle of the night, turning on every overhead light, watching TV while your baby endlessly eat, or scrolling through your phone because you can't sleep through all the coos. Having something to protect my eyes has made my sleep so much better when I do get it. If I up with her after the sun goes down, my glasses go on. We also switched our lamps with red bulbs so we don't blast her with artificial light in the middle of the night while feeding or changing her. I truly believe it helps her sleep, my sleep and my energy the following day, even with a lack of sleep. I use VivaRays, you can grab a pair here, I have the clip and go system but you can buy individual lenses too. Use code brandisheehanhealth for 15% off.

9. Noise Machine. We literally use it every night, all night, in the car, when she's napping, she loves it. I highly recommend finding one that doesn't have a timer. Most will turn off at 10, 20 or 30 minutes, nothing like having a baby sound asleep and the white noise machine turns off! This is the one we have, it stays on until you turn it off. We sleep, and she sleeps way better with the peaceful sound in the background that mimics her time in my tummy.

As usual, thanks for reading!

Brandi,

Tim and Murray