Almost half way baked.

The amount of times in a day I get asked how I'm feeling is mind-blowing. A friend warned me about this, she said get ready for everyone asking you how you feeling, literally all the time. And boy was she right. I know people are truly curious and it's the nice thing to do but I'll answer it for you right now; I am still not a fan of being pregnant.

I've been patiently waiting for this 2nd trimester surge of bountiful energy and glow to kick in, so far, nada. It's still hit or miss on how my energy is each day, regardless if I got a good nights sleep or not. Somedays I kick ass the entire day, somedays I take a nap at 10am, we're rolling with it. I feel like I have more stable energy days compared to 1st trimester, but overall, it's NOTHING like how I normally feel. I also get these super awesome migraines at least a few days a week, it's always right behind my right eyeball. It's not debilitating or unmanageable, but it sure is annoying as shit. If anyone has any natural ways of easing it, share with me!

This might strike a chord with some folks, but I truly believe that most peoples' baselines of health is sub-optimal. When woman tell expecting moms "you'll never feel good again, sleep again, have your normal energy back" I can't help but think.... I wonder if they have ever felt what it feels like to FEEL GOOD!? As a society we are used to feeling like crap, having no energy, having unmanageable hunger and cravings, feeling run down, brain fog, getting bad sleep....we've normalized it. We've blamed it on our age, our kids, our spouses, our genetics or our hectic jobs. So our expectation of how we should feel is pretty low to begin with, much less with kids. Somedays I wonder if what I feel like now, during pregnancy, is what many people feel like every day. Or maybe I just have too high of expectations for myself after pregnancy, I guess we will find out! And this isn't just an opinion this is data I've gathered from helping hundreds of people with their health and metabolism.... they report feeling this way most of the time.

Anywho, moving on...

My belly is officially starting to grow, I've had to retire many jeans and sports bras at this point. I don't know how I feel about it, and it changes every hour. Some days I'm like mehh, whatever, other days I cry in my unbuttoned jeans. It's still wild having your body uncontrollably change on you. Like, you know it's coming, obviously your body needs to grow for a baby to grow, but then it happens and you still have many "oh shit" moments. I've started to have a little discomfort in my belly too, especially by the end of the day, it feels heavy and all I want to do is stretch it, but it is physically uncomfortable to do so. I've had to make some modifications to my workouts now because I can't quite connect to my core like I used too. Being in an elongated position, like a push up or a pull up, no longer feels good, so we had to retire those for a bit for now **insert pouting.** One cool thing, my chronic back pain has been VERY minimal, my body actually feels more normal than it has in a while, as far as my pre-pregnancy back pain is concerned.

I work with a pelvic floor PT and I have learned SO much about relaxing and breathing through my pelvic floor, I am hopeful these things will carry me through labor and make it a little easier. I highly recommend every woman, pregnant or not, to work with pelvic floor PT. In fact, I really wish it was built in to prenatal care ( and paid for by insurance), it's quite ridiculous it's not and I feel like many woman would had less labor/postpartum issues in relation to their core/pelvic floor if this service was more accessible. I also started seeing a new chiropractor that specializes in the Webster Method; which is a technique is a specific chiropractic analysis and adjustment, which reduces interference to the nervous system, improving the function of the pelvic muscles and ligaments leading to the reduction of constraint of the woman’s uterus allowing the fetus the best opportunity to be positioned for a healthy birth. I don't have much to report on this, since I've only had a couple sessions and I am not really pregnant enough to be fully using the method, so stay tuned. But I've heard and read great things as far as pain/discomfort reduction as the pregnancy progresses.

As far as diet, not much has changed, I still focus on an animal- based, nutrient dense diet most of the time. I am grateful to have experienced almost no weird food aversions or nausea outside of a couple weeks in first trimester. Everyone has a right to how they want to eat during pregnancy, but I feel strongly about this topic. What you eat and the stored resources you already have on your body prior to conception, literally build your baby. I don't think it's a time to be eating junk food and nutrient poor foods, because it's no longer about you, as it is growing a healthy baby. And we know through data that maternal diet and lifestyles choices influences outcomes for baby, and the future health of baby. There are many things out of my control at this time, but what I choose to eat, is not one of them.

I've definitely had more "fuck it" moments... mindless eating, emotional eating, call it what you must, but I call it "fuck it" moments. I really have to dig deep and check myself in these times, I know what true hunger feels like, and I know how to answer it. I was reading a blurb from Real Food Pregnancy and it talked about the psychological aspect of eating when pregnant, and how easy it is to justify some eating behaviors in pregnancy, the I'm eating for two, or I'm pregnant I need more calories. Spoiler alert, eating for 2 isn't a thing, and while you will need more calories, depending on how far along you are, it's probably much less than you think. Our minds can play a huge role here, I encourage you to read the book.

This isn't to judge anyone, just information I've taken in, because trust me, I've had my fair share of those moments. *asks for a second dessert*

What else???? Oh yes, the vast amount of "just you wait" comments continue to roll in. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... ladies, these comments are not helpful. I think there is a way to share your experience in a helpful way, rather than a way where you a projecting your experience onto someone else. Also, a lot of body comments, I get it, how our bodies look is the obsession of our culture, and I cannot control what other people say. However, I am still making a conscious effort to not comment on bodies anymore, whether it's a positive or negative comment, because your body is literally the least coolest thing about you, incase you need to hear that.

I am also aware and sensitive to the fact that I am in a privileged body... a small body, of which our culture places on a pedestal above all others. I know I need to acknowledge that, however, it does not make my body concerns and feelings any more or less valid than someone else in a different body. What I find, is most woman will comment "oh you'll be fine, your a small person, your body will bounce back quick." The bounce back is not my concern right now, and no one knows what your body will do post-pregnancy, everyone is SO different. The amount self-deprecating comments I hear from my fellow ladies, makes me really sad. Let's do better!

Do I feel connected to the baby? No, not really. I'll be curious how other woman felt during this time. Did you feel a strong connect while baby was in tummy? Did you not until they were born? Maybe you didn't until they were out of the infant stage. For me, I'm still a little baffled and caught off guard sometimes that I am growing a human, and I have moments of panic and loss over the life I am leaving behind. Maybe once I feel the little bean start to flutter that will change. Who knows! Share with me your experience of connecting with your baby below :)!

Current reads in my rotation;

The First 40 Days: A great book on postpartum care. While everyone is worried about getting back to their normal life and bodies, I would like to focus on resting, bonding, and properly nourishing myself.

Hypnobirthing: While I am not actually doing hypnobirthing, it's the concepts and principles of the method that I found helpful. Finding that inner empowerment.

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding: While I cannot control what will happen, it's my first choice to breastfeed or at least use my breastmilk instead of formula, because I know that that nourishment cannot be matched.

That's all folks! Stay tuned for 2nd Trimester Part 2 in the months to come. Anything else you want to hear about? Drop some comments below.